askzombiechef's Journal

Zombie Chef
External Services:
  • askzombiechef@livejournal.com
Questions I Suspect I Will Be Asked

Why Zombie Chef?
Because it's fun.
Well, and because I happen to have a Zombie Chef costume, something I made to wear to a Zombies, Vampires and Werewolves party. I even made a relatively realistic-looking gelee brain (Spicy Cinnamon flavored) to go with it. I was something of a hit. You can see the costume, complete with brain, in my icon.

Are you really a chef?
No. I hold an Associate of Applied Arts in Culinary Arts, and I work as a cook in a high-end restaurant, but I am a Culinarian, not a Chef.

What's the difference?
Chef is a job title, and means the chief or head cook. There are various job and professional titles which use the word chef as well, such as sous chef (under chef, the second in command), chef de partie (chef of a part, or chief cook of a section in a large kitchen), and Certified Master Chef (a certification given by various professional organizations worldwide, the requirements of which include years of work as an executive chef and an exhaustive examination), but all of these rely on the above definition of the word chef. One gains the title chef by doing the job of a chef.
A culinarian, on the other hand, is someone who studies and practices the culinary arts. Chefs are to culinarians as squares are to rectangles.

So if you're not a chef, why call the blog Ask Zombie Chef?
See above, under "Why Zombie Chef?"

Why do a cooking advice blog?
Because people keep asking me for cooking advice, and I like giving it.
Plus, I found that I missed writing regularly.

Why is your cooking blog labeled Adult Concepts?
Why does Anthony Bourdain's show have a Not Suitable For Some Viewers warning on it? I'm a cook, I use foul language and occasionally explicit metaphors. Deal.

What's a shoggoth?
Shoggoths are fictional creatures imagined by horror author H.P. Lovecraft, and are vast protoplasmic spheres with bubble-like eyes floating on their surfaces. They were engineered by the Elder Things as living construction equipment, and are considered some of the most terrifying creatures in the Cthulhu Mythos body of work.
Oh, you mean bread shoggoths. Sorry, got carried away. Bread shoggoths are sourdough starters, and shoggoth bread is sourdough bread. It's cvillette's fault.

You're a geek, aren't you?
Gee, what on earth gave you that impression?
I'm not just a geek, I'm a nerd. I have too much social awareness to be a dork, though, thank you very much.

Do you have another LJ?
Yes, but if you don't already know what it is, I'm not going to tell you.

How often do you post?
Well, the plan is twice a week, but a lot will depend on how many questions I get, how much time I have, and how many people read this.

What topics will you answer questions on?
Cooking, food and food science. You want to know how to make Alfredo sauce, how to choose the best tenderloin, why cinnamon goes well with meat, or what a hydrocolloid is and why they're neat, then Ask Zombie Chef. I'll also take baking questions, but baking is something I have a lot less facility with, and occasionally my answer will be, "Dammit, Jim, I'm a cook, not a baker!"
If I don't know the answer to a question, I'll try to find out.
Not all questions are necessarily blog material, but for those that aren't, I'll try to answer privately or in the comments. If there's a resource that can answer your question better than I think I can, I'll point you to that instead.

How do I submit a question?
You can leave one in the comments of a Call for Questions post, or you can email me at zombiechef (at) gmail (dot) com.

I have a question about the restaurant business
You can ask it, but I won't answer publicly, only privately. I have to work in this business, this journal is googlable, and with a little work, it can be linked to my real name. Not everything I have to say about the industry or the people in it is complimentary.

You have a typo...
Great. Every writer needs a good proofreader, and I've stared at the entries too longer to catch the stuff my spellchecker misses. Leave a comment in the relevant entry, and I'll fix it.

Your French is wrong...
Almost always. French language is the bane of my existence. Comment with a correction in the relevant entry, and I'll fix it.
I hate French. I can't spell it, I can't pronounce it, and I can't make it jive with the Latin I know.

Anything else you think we should know?
Grrr. Argh. Braaaaaaains.

More questions to be added as they get asked.